I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
