Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
