If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
