I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
