it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize