Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
