i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
