You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
