I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
