Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
