Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
