He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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