We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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