bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I had to cum in my sink.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
