Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
well you can't waste a boner
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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