just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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