i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I've blown a few things in my day
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
