If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
