But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
