just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
