How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
