I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
