youre lurking in front of me
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize