Are we in a gay sports bar?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
