The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
