you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I am available for nakedness
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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