:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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