Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
