They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
