ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
this just has baby written all over it
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
