butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
