Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
