what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
