I think my vagina is haunted
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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