I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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