I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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