I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
