billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize