We're like a lot better than the average bears
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
