my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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