You work out of a Hotel?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
