yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
