well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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