I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
