Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
