Will you blow on my dice?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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