You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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