Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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