dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
