i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
