I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize