dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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