i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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