my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
