I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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