I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
