i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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