Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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